Yes I know it seems strange, but today deep in my spam folder, there was an email from Will Smith. Now while I thought it was a personal invitation to co-star in his next movie Hancock 2, it turned out to be anything but.
Nope, Will Smith wants to help me with some Google ads for whatever reason. That’s nice of him isn’t it? So let’s get back to big Willy Styles pronto then and get him to promote this place before he wanders off to make Bad Boys 5 or something and I miss my shot.
Will Smith’s invitation was lost in this sea of spam
Yes sadly, my spam cup doth runneth over weekly. Ever since I started this blog over a year ago I’ve been bombarded by these idiots offering to do everything both holy and unholy to make this the greatest website known to humankind (we took a look at this trend back roughly a year ago. Bigger than Google, bigger than YouTube, bigger than Elon Musk’s next big idea. And up until now, I’ve ignored them because = spam.
But then blow me down, Will Smith got involved. And how could I say no to an A Lister like W Dubb?
I can assist you in generating more calls for your business through Google
Ads.Are you tired of settling for average results? Let’s talk!
I work with a company that specializes in increasing your ROI on Google Ads.
You will get expertly managed PPC campaigns and meticulously crafted
advertising strategies.The more advanced and complex your PPC campaigns are, the better the
outcomes.We have years of experience in delivering highly optimized campaigns that
can help you attract more customers, increase your website traffic, and
enhance your brand recognition and sales.I can begin by conducting keyword research for your business.
I am also able to improve your Quality Score, provide feedback on your
landing page to help reduce your Cost Per Click (CPC).Please reply if you’re interested.
Warm Regards,
-Who else could this be other than the award winning actor himself? Seems legit!
Will Smith
I’m now convinced this is 100% legit and completely risky free!
Just like Bytecoin was! (Don’t quote me on that though..)
So like I said, before he took the offer off the table and back to his trailer I jumped on straight away. And just so he knew I knew what time it was, I made sure you throw in some very subtle references that only the true Will Smith would understand.
I’d like to think that when Will Smith claps his peepers on this reply, he’s going to nod along to my subtle brilliance here.
Good god, I’m communicating with the actual Will Smith? Remarkable. Here I was thinking that today was the usual teriffically boring hump day Wednesday but I just happened to be nosing through the spam folder and wham bam let’s not watch Hancock again, there’s your email!
Will, you’re right. I am tired of settling for average results. I’m also tired of the following:
The prices of everything in 2024
My supreme lack of finances
Needing to fire sell everything to make ends meet, right before it takes off again (Hello Bitcoin)
Not being able to find La Rue cheese anywhere. Seriously, who’s hoarding it all?Now I realise you can’t help with those things, but you can slap some sense into my ROI? God knows it needs it, lazy Roi.
Although to be Frank (the pug), I don’t know what that means. However I got the general gist of what you’re saying here, namely you’re going to bring in a bigger audience than you did in Aladdin? Good god Almighty Will, I don’t think my website is actually equipped to handle 122 extra sets of eyes each month. But you seem to know what you’re talking about and if you can do what the spam folder is telling me you can, well that would be fresh, prince.Do I have to fly to Bel Air or are you happy to continue to communicate this way?
Here’s hoping you do better here than in After Earth!
Looking forward to a reply
Regards
-Al
My return email 2024, all rights reserved
Now I’m just sitting and waiting for a) his reply b) this place to go gang busters once he’s on board. Will Smith, the ball is in your court baby..
P.s If you’re in the same boat and flooded with messages just like Mr Smith‘s one here, have a good read here. Some great tips on how to look out for and ultimately ignore them. Unless you truly believe a Hollywood Actor wants to help you with your website. In which case I have some real estate on the moon you might be interested in?