In our first Talking Technology with Mavis and Edith, the ladies of the latest cutting edge review a budget smart watch and put a digital skin oil detector through it’s paces, while Crazy Mike helps us out with a top tip when it comes to vans.
Talking technology – On with the show
Hello and welcome to the inaugural episode of Talking Technology with Mavis and Edith. I’m obviously Mavis Metaburg the 1st and my partner in all things technology and apparatus wrangling is the one and only Edith Evenflow. How are you this evening Edith?
Mavis, there’s not a LCD read out scale on the planet that could encapsulate how happy am I to be here today, talking about technology and the latest offerings. We’ve got our finger so firmly on the digital pulse that it should be charging us rent! *chortle*
Well like new owners of a Volvo EC950F Crawler excavator like to say, ‘Let’s dig in shall we?’ Tonight we start off talking technology with a smart watch. And it’s the Watch 8 that we’re taking a look at from Aliexpress, packed full of those features that you really hope a watch comes with – like real actual screws on not that fake cheese ones that seem to be flooding the market currently. I mean who doesn’t like some fresh titaninm?
Now Mavis I understand you’ve strapped on one of these technology bad boys and road tested it at your last parkour and chardonnay night, how did you find it?
Well blow me down with an industrial vacuum set to reverse if the 2.0 HD refresh screen didn’t get a line of admirers forming halfway down the block. This thing screams ‘full function fun fest’ and I barely had enough time to flip off the nearest stairwell I was that busy showing off what it can do. Tell time? Possibly. Make love to your Bluetooth? I guess if you ask it nicely enough. But what I couldn’t admire enough was the health functions. I mean seriously, look at this – it ‘Help you health.’ Tell me, how many pieces of technology can share that claim to fame?
I don’t know about you Mavis but there’s been many a time when I’ve wondered ‘Hey, how’s the old ticker machine going deep down near my chesticles?’ and the Watch 8 Ultra Smart Watch Men GPS NFC Smartwatch Waterproof Sport Mode Fitness Wireless Charging Watch Series 8 for Xiaomi Apple will tell you. It’ll tell you when you’re exercising, when you’re gossiping with Helen and the girls down at the salon, when you’re out on the piss and even when you’re trying to get to sleep! That’s how dedicated this thing is to help you health.
Not only that but before I strapped on the Watch 8 Ultra Smart Watch Men GPS NFC Smartwatch Waterproof Sport Mode Fitness Wireless Charging Watch Series 8 for Xiaomi Apple, my Blood Sugar never trended. Now, it’s all over the socials and I’m getting my inbox smashed with all sorts of exciting offers, including extending a manhood I don’t have! I think this is fantastic bit of kit Mavis and I’d recommend it to anyone who wants to wish themselves heath and find out how late you are to bassoon practice at the same time! I give it 3 and three quarter automatic celery slicers out of 5.
Now while I was giving this a bit of a go over, you got the business trying on a piece of beauty technology I hear?
You’re right on the crypto there my fellow technology titan, this week I got to answer the age old question ‘How much moist and oil is going on around the skull covering area?’ and I did it with the brand new Precise Detector LCD Digital Skin Oil Moisture Tester for Face Skin Care with Bio-technology Sensor Lady Beauty Tool Spa Monitor, also from Aliexpress. Wrap your Google Glass around this techno marvel:
Yes, do not adjust your LCD widescreens, it does say three displays with one button. AND it lights up like a hyperactive Christmas tree when water is detected around the facial region. Have this bit of wonder on hand and you’ll be apologising to the family straight up over how much you’re hogging the bathroom, fully exploring your oil skin landscape!
Personally, I love the feature where it gives you a disappointed electrical outlet look if your skin is rougher than sandpaper. Thanks detector, some room for improvement there!
However the greatest part of this technology gadget Edith? It’s the hidden teleportation mode. Just fire it up, put the sensor tip into the nearest bit of lead based paint and suddenly..
…you’ll find yourself in a completely random location! What fun! It looks like I’m in a hall of mirrors at he moment and I have to tell you, I haven’t experienced this level of creative madness in a very long time. Look, I’m everywhere at once thanks to the uber affordable Precise Detector LCD Digital Skin Oil Moisture Tester for Face Skin Care with Bio-technology Sensor Lady Beauty Tool Spa Monitor!
While I work on my escape plans, it’s back to you in the studio Edith!
Holy mother of gods does that look fun. And while we wait for Mavis to either pop a flare or her GPS signal to hit our receivers so we can send out a rescue party, let’s cross to Crazy Mike for a quick van update.
Thanks Edith. Now I’ve been getting a lot of Whatsapp messages from slightly concerned van owners, wondering how they can tell if their precious van has been hit randomly by a TBM, or tunnel boring machine. And I’m here to tell you, checking if that’s happened is actually quite easy.
Just look for a massive hole in the side of your van. And if you don’t see one, then there’s more than a chance that your vantastic vanage has escaped unharmed. There you go, some piece of mind before the next vanfest. Back to you ladies.
Thanks Mike, while I haven’t made it back to the studio, the map instructions on this brown rock seem pretty clear. So by this time next week I should be back beside Edith, ready to talk Technology once more! And like we like to end on every week on the show, take care and don’t forget to switch things off when not in use.
Bye for now.