Edit: 14,148 words, 59 revisions, 75 minutes read time. Buckle up, it’s been a massive year for Supercoach!
Yes faster than you can say ‘I say good sir, is it Supercoach 2024 time already what?’, it’s suddenly Supercoach 2024 time again. Time to hastily throw together an AFL team on draft day and hope they a) do something remarkable and b) Don’t break themselves in the process.
My experiences of the last couple of seasons have been mixed at best. But this year is my year, I can feel it right down to my coaches box!
Wait, that didn’t sound good did it?
Supercoach 2024 is an AFL (or NRL) fantasy football game with a few different ways to play. For me, I’m part of a draft league with 11 other friends. We all build a team on draft day (explained more in a sec) and swap and trade across the season to hopefully be the best team at the end of things after the grand final.
Edit: Now I’ve whipped up a YouTube all about it!
For Supercoach 2024, all the action will be focused on the one page.
Previously I had weekly updates. And then to make it more amusing, I used different worlds of entertainment to represent the players. So back in 2021 each player in the team was represented by someone from World Championship Wrestling and included a Mantaur mascot. In 2022 the playing group was represented by The Grimdark future that is Warhammer 40k with a flying skull helping me out. And then last year it was the motley collection of DC comic villains taking their spot on the field.
The trouble with this creative take was two fold – a lot of work and no one really cared. People searching for Supercoach content were confused, people searching for the WCW, 40K or DC things had no idea what I was blabbering on about.
Therefore this year it’ll be on the one page (this one obviously, don’t forget to bookmark it if Supercoach footy is right in your wheelhouse), purely on the football and updated weekly. No need to thank me.
It’s Draft Day! Grab those players while they’re hot!
The first draft day was super fun but I missed last years due to family commitments. Thankfully everyone was off at a sleepover so I took my phone and a few drinks over to Captain Brandy’s house and got into the fun of the draft.
(In hindsight I should have brought the laptop for the bigger screen and some chips like everyone else did. I know for next time!)
With half the players there and the others logging in around the country, we got down to business. In draft mode of Supercoach 2024 an order is drawn up and then we take it in turns to pick a player for our team and fill up the positions of Forward, Midfield, Defence, Ruck and bench.
And since I went so woefully bad last year, I got to pick first this year! Go me!
The trouble was that after the red hot players were snapped up in the first couple of rounds, pickings suddenly got really slim. There were a lot of injured places to try and pin your hopes on. There were plenty of rookies you’d hope would fire up in their first season. There were hundreds of players I’d never heard of (around the table it was fair to say I was the least knowledgable). But somehow, I picked a team.
And here they are, introducing The $2 Steaks!
‘Tougher than a two dollar steak’ – Jim Ross
The team name picked from a popular line from one of the greatest wrestling commentators of all time (and subject to change as the mood takes me), I got down to brass tacks and began my player picking. A mostly fresh batch of footballers I’ve never used before but the occasional return special guest.
In the rough order they were picked:
Marcus Bontempelli (MID) – Since I got to pick first and the legend of the Bont was sitting proudly at the very top of hundreds of possible players, it was a very fast and slick first pick. While I missed out on him last year, Bontempelli was a brilliant captain the year before and I’m stoked to have him back wearing the crown (the captain of the team gets their weekly scored doubled. It’s good to be king!) once more. I’m predicting both big things for him and lots of trade requests for him which will be completely ignored.
Todd Goldstein (RUC) – The second most important position to fill after you bag your star player and captain. And I know from experience that when this spot falls over, it’s very difficult to find a decent replacement. Therefore I grabbed the highly rated Goldstein as pick two and promised myself to have at least one backup Ruck on the bench later on.
Tim Taranto (MID) – Highest rated Richmond player and I’m a Tigers fan. However I’m also wise enough to know that playing favourites can come round and bite you in the coaches bottom soon enough which is why I haven’t got heavy on the yellow and black this year.
Jordan De Goey (MID) – Yes it seemed to be the general consensus of the table on draft day that it was wiser to strengthen your mid line before looking at other zones. So I did. By virtue of being somewhere near the top and still available by the time my next pick came around (with 12 coaches that can take some time) Jordan made the cut…
Josh Daicos (MID) – …as did his fellow Collingwood player Josh here. ‘Ahh the lesser of the Daicos boys!’ Tyson chimed in. There’s nothing like the witty banter around the Supercoach 2024 selection table, I’ve certainly missed that!
Jeremy Cameron (FWD) – By now I’d almost finished off my mid line but I thought I better take a look at what was happening up front first so I wasn’t totally out of options. What do I remember about picking Jemery here? Er..not much. But he’s the first $2 Steak up there so well done him.
Daniel Rioli (DEF) – One for the front line, one for the back. Fairs fair. Honestly this zone isn’t going to score nearly as many points as the Mid Line is but if they can minimise damage done then that’s helpful I guess.
Scott Pendlebury (MID) – Okay there was a little umming and erring here because I was trying hard not to pick anyone with an active injury (the wait to get them back into business can blow out and it might take them a game or two to find their form again.) However…every time I’ve picked and played Penders, he’s been stupidly reliable with a high score of close enough to one. So Mr Dependable is back and hopefully his knee niggle heals quickly!
(And now the mid line is full!)
Charlie Dixon (FWD) – Mid line and Ruck position full, so time to fill the front while avoiding picking both Dusty Martin (unreliable) and Buddy Franklin (a let down for me the last time I used him. First cab off the what’s left rank then was Charlie here. Welcome aboard!
Jeremy Finlayson (FWD) – I know as much about Jez here as I do about Charlie above. Still they play for the same team so they should get on famously playing for mine up front.
Alex Witherden (DEF) – I don’t know what it is about the Defense Zone but previously when players in that sector have bowed out with injury or been suspended for a round or two, there’s always been a whole heap of West Coast Eagle defenders available to sub in. Interestingly in Supercoach 2024, I’m picking an Eagle up first rather than wait for the injury list to disappoint me again. Good luck Alex!
Ivan Soldo (RUC) – ‘Welp, better grab a spare Ruc before I forget and before all the halfway decent ones are gone1’ – Me, round something. He may just spend the Supercoach 2024 year bench side but we’ll see what happens.
Blake Hardwick (DEF) – Working my way through a big pile of injured players, Blake got a Guernsey on the sheer fact that he’s still standing and I had an open DEF spot to fill.
Kyle Langford (FWD) – Same conditions as Blake, uninjured and ready to play. You’ll do mate!
Connor Idun (DEF) – At this time of the Supercoach 2024 draft day after 3 bottles of lemon lime and bitters deep, there was a lot of ‘I don’t know who this is’ going around the table and mostly from me. Still, Idun could surprise me and I’m hoping that’s in a good way.
Nathan Broad (DEF) – We’re up to pick 277 here. It’s time to populate the bench. It’s a minefield of injuries and rookies. Broad takes the spot and I smile, pretending I know what I’m doing here. How’s the artwork on his back though!
Cameron Zuhaar (FWD) – A backup for the already struggling front line. Keep your boots on Cam!
Jake Soligo (MID) – Couldn’t pick him out of a lineup. Welcome to the steaks!
James Aish (MID) – Finally pick after two hours of this draft round, I’m tired and full of chips. But glorious, we’re done! Now to see how this mob fairs in round 1 of Supercoach 2024!
Supercoach 2024 Round 1 – Two Dollar Steaks vs Dunno
Yes it seems Coach Matt has put as much thought into his team name as I have for my first round lineup, being reminded I actually have a team by Coach Andrew this morning. Normally on a Thursday night I would have been busy scouring both the AFL team selection lists and the official injury list to make sure no one I had on the field was actually somewhere else getting a leg removed, but I was actually driving at the time.
I woke up in Albury and went to work and then did a 7+ hour round trip interstate for a medical appointment that lasted all of five minutes. ‘Keep up the meds, see you in a couple of months.’ No wonder I was a bit shagged and not so interested in team selection when I got home. Which means I missed the cut off for Richmond and Carlton but that’s okay – Tarranto did great with 105, Rioli did not with 54 and over on the bench Broad went well with 89 but that doesn’t count for this rounds score because = bench.
Luckily one game does not a Supercoach 2024 round of footy make. And there was only one warning to worry about when I woke up this morning, namely Jeremy Finlayson being named as an emergency, so he scored some bench time. Even better, Scott Pendlebury looks like he’s got through his knee niggle which means he’s back on deck in place of Jordan De Goey. With Penders back I’m slightly more confident of something happening.
Hopefully it’s something good.
Here’s how we look taking on Dunno..
The predictor suggests that team Dunno is 72 ahead of the Steaks but if there’s one thing I’ve learnt from playing this game for the last couple of years, is that some times even the best of intentions can fall flat and the predictor can often be hilariously wrong.
AFL ROUND 1 – THE RESULTS!
Whoo boy, what a round this one was. Some of the big events of round one:
–The Bont was majestic. Highest scoring player for the Steaks (just by one point hilariously with 126 Supercoach points), that score doubled due to his Captain’s crown.
-Joining him in the 100+ points club: Dixon and Cameron up front, Aish and Taranto in the middle and no one on the back line whatsoever. Meanwhile in the Ruck position Goldstein who was picked was average but his backup Soldo had a blinder with 125 points.
Which of course don’t count because he’s on the bench at the moment. Great.
-It seems I swapped out the wrong Collingwood player to allow Pendlebury to come and play this round. While Penders scored a needed 98, his black and white cohort Daicos only fared a 54. Meanwhile on the woodwork, De Goey scored a mightily impressive 96!
Which also doesn’t count like the Soldo moment above..
Still, I woke up this morning and….
Yes I went to bed last night and the only 2 dollar Steaks player yet to finish was Aish. When I woke up, well it seems he’d had a great game with 102 points which produced a very narrow margin of 17 points between my opponent and I!
Nothing like a close game is there!
So now after this cracking start of a first up (rare in my time here) Supercoach 2024 victory, I’m sixth on the ladder and ready to climb. If this was Formula One I’d make millions for hitting the top ten in a race but it’s not a race, I’m not in F1, let’s move on!
Next round: We take on 2nd place Tyson’s Tranquillo Tyrants. While that will be an interesting challenge by itself, both Brisbane and Carlton are having a bye round. Luckily I don’t have anyone from either team so we might have half a chance in this!
Supercoach 2024 Round 2 – Two Dollar Steaks vs Tranquillo Tyrants
Yes Tyson knows a lot more about footy than I do. He’s played a lot more footy than I have (my footy experience is practically farting around in a charity game and getting bounced off a very solid Matthew Knights when trying to slow him down). But I am the coach of the Two Dollar Steaks and on the strength of a strong name, I could win. Sure.
As mentioned above any Carlton or Brisbane player is having a bye weekend off, which works for me because… I don’t have any.
And until the team selection lists come out later tonight to confirm otherwise, it looks like I have no injuries and a full deck of players ready to rumble humble. While I wait, I’ve swapped a few players around, namely those that had a hot run on the bench last week who now get a chance to shine this week. So De Goey in place of Daicos, Broad in for Witherden and Ivan Soldo takes over the RUC position in place of Goldstein.
Yes there’s every chance those players I’ve now sent to ride the pine this round might have their best round ever (and it won’t count for me) but you’ve got to make the occasional hard decision as coach so here we are.
Meanwhile Tyson has to contend with the fact that Zac Williams, Jarrod Lyons and Hugh McCluggage won’t be able to play for him this week. I’m a little sore on that last one, The Luggage as I like to call him has been a great player for me previously and I wish he was still on my side. Oh well, maybe we can trade him back later?
AFL ROUND 2 – THE RESULTS!
-Erk, I’ve done it again, I’ve benched the wrong Collingwood player! De Joey over on the bench had a great round one, Daicos did not. So naturally I swapped them over for round 2, only for them both to do exactly the opposite of what I planned. Daicos had a cracker round bench side (no points to be gained from the wood there!) while De Goey stalled on field.
‘Why don’t you put them both on the field at the same time then?’ I hear you ask. Because knowing my luck, they’d both manage to fall over spectacularly. Welcome to Supercoach 2024 where any plan flies right out of the window before it even has a chance to hatch.
-I also clean forgot to check the AFL team rosters this week because if I had, Broad wouldn’t be on field in defence on account of injury. What he injured or how he injured himself I don’t know, all I know was that when I looked at my team on the Sunday night, there was an ugly DNP next to his name. Whoops!
-And speaking of Sunday night again, that’s the only time all weekend when I thought it wise enough to sneak a peak at how the $2 Steaks were going. This way I could possibly steel myself against my first loss of the season. Amazingly when I did look, I was leading. Again The Bont had been on fire and there was some solid performances from Rioli, Pendlebury and Tarranto. And even more epic, both myself and Tyson had just one player each left to finish the game. It was Idun from the steaks vs Ash on Tyson’s side, with my pick just slightly ahead in a nail biter..
-I woke up at 4:40am the next day (usual start time) and was well and truly chuffed by the news. Idun hadn’t just dun good, he’d dun exceptionally well with a very impressive 102! Meanwhile Ash got left behind in the dust for a lonely 21 points meaning..
Another win! And amazingly, two in a row! Which if you’ve been following my Supecoach coaching career for longer than the length of a cup of coffee, you’ll know is rarer than rocking horse poo. This is even with an injured player taking up valuable field real estate and a poor Collingwood bench swap.
And unless I’m mistaken, this win in round 2 has now catapulted me to my highest ladder position ever!
Knowing my track record, this high elevation possibly won’t last but I’m enjoying being on the podium for now.
Imagine what I could do if I actually checked the official playing list!
Next round: GWS take the weekend off for their bye round so Idun won’t be able to back up his brilliance for me in back to back matches. And Maddy is our next opponent as the $2 Steaks continue their unbeaten streak up against the also unbeaten so far Mad Dawgz!
Supercoach 2024 Round 3 – Two Dollar Steaks vs Mad Dawgz
Yes indeed I’m up against the maddest of mad Richmond Tigers fans in this round as Maddy puts the Dawgz up against the defiant steaks. (Even though I have 2 more Tigers players in my squad than she does.)
And for the first time this season, I remembered to consult the team selection lists. Of course I remembered to do this after the first game of round 3 but I still checked, so that was a thing.
Somehow though I managed to miss Witherden out again. Normally I’d just replace him with Idun in DEF but given that stupid round 0 bye round is still a thing and my replacement was having a holiday, I didn’t have much of a choice but to play with a defensive player down.
Also given the fact that Witherden has shown up for only one game this season out of three, it looks like he’ll become the very first free agent trade for the steaks – what a dubious honor!
AFL ROUND 3 – THE RESULTS!
-As planned, Witherden didn’t do a thing.
–Bontempelli had a slow day. Although his slow day is streets ahead of some players best efforts. 110 points is the lowest for him so far over three rounds but still welcome. This round however he was edged out of MVP by Soldo (112), Taranto (128) and Rioli (117)
-Again I put the wrong Collingwood player out on the field. Daicos did better on the bench than De Goey did in action.
-And finally at the time of writing, there’s just one game left to go to round out things this…er.. round. This is exciting! The Mad Dawgz are out of players, I just have Cameron and Hardwick left to lace up the boots. Between the pair of them they have to score at least 145 points to beat the Dawgz.
Now according to their usual performance, their average is slightly higher than what I need which is very promising. Can I scrape another win (my third in a row) by the skin of my teeth? Let’s find out!
And after all this wait the final scores have been tallied and..
…oh no.
The wheels came off!
J Cameron could only muster up 61 points which put him a bit short but worse, Hardwick slowed right down and walked away with just 47!
Gah, so close!
But if we’ve learnt anything this round, it’s…it’s… actually I have no idea. But I think it’s time to trade Witherdon and hope the next idiotic bye round doesn’t take out too many more of the Steaks in round 4…
Supercoach 2024 Round 4 – Two dollar Steaks vs Dawson be thy name.
Look, I’m not even going to pretend I know what’s going on with Andrews team name, last time I checked he doesn’t even have a player called Dawson in his list. On top of that he’s never mentioned sitting down to watch a single episode of Dawson’s Creek so I’m in the dark for this one.
(No wait, I just worked it out. He’s a crows fan and Jordan Dawson is the captain. Ahh, look at me with the Googles and stuff! Only four rounds into things too..)
Anywhoos it’s a new week and it’s started off on an average note as once again I’ve been fooled by Jake Lever’s wily ways. Yes back in 2022 he was part of my team and had more ups and downs than a wet yo-yo in a working dryer tipped on its side. And you’d think as I fine tuned Supercoach 2024, I’d be wary enough not to have him back this year. But I needed someone to replace Witherden and when I looked at his stats, he had a 100+ game last round, so I erred on the side of caution and invited him back.
Only to watch this week as he coughed up a pretty paltry 53 points. I suppose that’s better than Witherden’s zero from the last couple of weeks but still..
AFL ROUND 4 – THE RESULTS!
-Look, I did bag out Lever’s quiet performance but I had a quick look at all the results of round 4 and Witherden who Jake replaced didn’t even play, so he’s 53 points ahead there. Crazily, 53 is the highest Witherden has scored all season in Supercoach 2024 so Lever coming in and equalling it in the first round for the steaks is obviously an omen.
-Apparently Pendlebury had sore ribs and someone made contact with his sore ribs. I’ll have to keep an eye on him now and this goes a while in explaining why he had a surprisingly low of 23 this round. He does get a week off next week (more about that in a sec) which should help.
-To no suprise whatsoever, the Bont ran riot again with a rock solid 141. De Goey really impressed with 138 and not on the bench, although Soligo was on the bench…and blew it right up with 128 points. Guess who fills in for the next bye round then?
-By Sunday night I was trailing with just three players left to score, Andrew was slightly scared by this fact even with a sizeable lead and yet…
Yes it’s the time (and the first time in Supercoach 2024) to unveil the score worm. And incredibly my worm seemed to have the biggest case of turbo lag in history. I don’t know who bolted quad blowers to my crawler but he spent most of the round spooling up before blitzing past poor Andrew in the last match..
3 out of 4 wins in Supercoach 2024 slots us into 4th place on the ladder with Maddy still undefeated and our next opponent Craig still winless for the season.
What doesn’t help my cause will be both Collingwood and Sydney have a bye round thanks to round zero. And while I have a stunning lack of Swans on team Two Dollar Steaks, I do have the triple threat of Pendlebury, De Goey and Daicos to worry about.
Ahh decisions decisions..
Supercoach 2024 Round 5 – Two dollar Steaks vs CRIPPTIC KROSSWURD.
(Now why didn’t I think of having my team name in ALL CAPITALS? Gah, rookie mistake!)
As previously mentioned, Craig hasn’t jagged in a win in Supercoach 2024. And as great a bloke as he is (and he is), I’m not about to hamstring my own team so he can have mine this round, no sirree. With Collingwood and Sydney enjoying a sleep in (gah, stupid round zero) I’m out three pies and down a midline player spot.
But not for too long..
Soligo steps onto the field to fill the gap left by the injured Pendlebury (get well soon!) but that still leaves a hole by the now vacant Daicos out on holiday. With no spare mids, unfortunately it’s time for someone to pack their bags and welcome in some new blood. And that dubious honour goes to….Zurhar.
It’s not like he’s been a problem, it’s just that I have to part ways with someone to make a trade and at the time of writing it’s either him or Broad (both with the lowest averages for the team). So sorry Zur, we bid farewell and welcome in temporary Mid Line Warrior..
Tom Sparrow!
Yes it’s another Melbourne Demon joining the ranks (and hopefully not disappointing me like Lever did last round) and now it means I have a full list ready to go to battle now!
Well until the team sheets and injury list comes out later tonight and tells me otherwise. But up until then!…
AFL ROUND 5 – THE RESULTS!
Let me just cue up some vintage ECW Joel Gertner here to start this one off:
Because once again this round went very well….right up until the point in Supercoach 2024 when it suddenly didn’t. And that point came about when I had just two of the Steaks left to lace up the boots and get the business done, both Tigers. But before we get to that cliffhanging moment..
-You know those times when you hear something a few times but it still fails to register or even if it does, your brain doesn’t make an important connection until it’s too late? I’d heard plenty of talk about Finlayson using a homophobic slur and copping and ban for three weeks in the news. But it wasn’t until I looked at my squad on Sunday that it clicked and I suddenly remember oh god, he’s one of mine. Yes, a DNP right in the front line, clever me for not picking that one up.
-Thanks to the idiotic bye round, I had to swap away my only forward reserve which made things tricky. And looking forward to next week, both Melbourne and Richmond are out! GAH! What the hell am I going to do then?? No more AFL, round zero was a truly idiotic idea!
-Speaking of Melbourne though, both new recruits Sparrow and Lever impressed me with 83 and 98 points respectively. As pointed out above though, they won’t be able to back that up next week. Damn.
-The Bont only got 73. Hissss..
-I just noticed that Tarranto didn’t play either (wrist injury) and that cost me. Boy oh boy am I a focused coach? No wonder I misread things late Sunday when I saw I was trailing but not too much. If Rioli and Broad could really fire up I might have a chance..
Until…a wild Yeo appeared!
‘How much damage can a West Coast Eagle midfield player do here?’ I asked myself before returning later and giving myself a Diamond Dallas Page level self high five for a top stupid question. Because Yeo managed to not only put on a masterclass in how to put the boots into a hapless Richmond side over the weekend, but managed to set a Supercoach 2024 personal best with a stonking 157 points.
Me and my silly loaded questions.
Which meant through some inattention and some bad luck, I’ve just given Craig his first victory of the season.
And because he won and I didn’t, down a spot on the ladder I go. Still, 5th place is much higher than I usually find myself in so I’m still happy. That may change next round though..
NEXT WEEK
My three pies are back (thank the gods!) but I’m down two Tigers and two Demons, not to mention Finlayson who’s got two more weeks off. There’s going to be a lot of spanners flying needed here before we take on 4th place Corn on the Lobb..
Supercoach 2024 Round 6 – Two dollar Steaks vs Corn on the Lobb
Oh boy, hasn’t this round just taken a dump on my parade?
I can’t use any Richmond Tigers thanks to their bye round.
I can’t use any Melbourne Demon players for the same reason.
Finlayson has two more weeks off for saying stupid things.
And Pendlebury might still be hurting from his rib injury.
As we take on Nick’s team of Corn on the Lobb (which must be a reference to Rory Lobb of the Bulldogs) it’s not just going to be a case of fine tuning here, more replacing with current engine that’s down half it’s cylinders with a Mazda rotary that in all likelihood needs a rebuild anyway.
Well okay then.
First things first, out Finlayson goes. He’s not exactly burning down any barns for me so far in Supercoach 2024 and I don’t feel it’s worth keeping him in reserve for his eventual return. Not that my replacement options for his FWD position are great though – Tom McDonald, Jack Billings, Marlion Picket and Rhyhan Mansell all have a week off and rounding out the top five available is Ben Ainsworth who had a great round last round but nothing really of note beforehand.
Luckily a few spots down the list is Geelong’s Brad Close who hasn’t had an exceptional year but also hasn’t had a miserable one. He’s played all games, his lowest score is a 50, he’s up front, I need a gap filled, don’t say anything stupid Brad and welcome to the team!
Pendlebury recovers on the bench until told otherwise. Luckily my mids are solid this round (but now that I’ve said that..) All we have to do is find some defence because we’re 50% down..
Tarranto has just be whisked off to surgery, so unfortunately that makes the decision for me. Kane Farrell takes his place but in DEF instead of MID. That would have left a decision between Broad and Lever as to who gets traded out next for someone active, however I just noticed that Sparrow is an option and well…the little bird has now flown the coop. Sorry Spar. Now it’s Weddle from Hawthorne joining his teammate Hardwick in slowing things down.
Well I hope..
The rotary engine might be complete at the moment but I’m doubtful it’ll keep on brapping past the first hard pass..
AFL ROUND 6 – THE RESULTS!
-While on Supercoach 2024 Facebook messenger chat (a lot of people wondered if I was crazy letting Tarranto go even though he was having surgery), I finally reminded myself to look at the official AFL team lists on the Thursday night and was pleasantly surprised to see Pendlebury listed as healthy, active and playing! Giddy up! Now he’s back in the mids in place of De Goey.
–Dixon on the other hand is out with injury this week so I made my first waiver wire offer and went with…actually I forgot who I applied for. Apparently I’ll find out after midnight Friday if it was successful or if I have to find someone else..
-The Bont remembered he was Captain of the Steaks and returned to winning form with 125 points.
-Saturday very early AM comes around and my first ever waiver wire in not only Supercoach 2024 but all the Supercoaches comes through and we welcome Josh Treacy from Freemantle to the team in Dixon’s place. He thanks me for inviting him to the Steaks by slotting in 89 points.
-However while he did that, his Freo teammate Aish had a shocker with just 29 points. Keep that up and I’ll have to go free agent shopping again.
-Recovering from his rib issues, Pendlebury gives me 61. Daicos brings forth 78. And of course that means De Goey over at the bench decides to romp it in with 105 because I chose him to sit out. I will never get these Pies right no matter what I do this year.
-For a time, things were looking good. Right down until the last two players for both myself and Nick. We both had two Hawks to play. At the time I was a respectable 60 points ahead and according to previous form from previous rounds, I had this. The predictor was on my side. If my last two could do what they usually do, well we would have this. It’d be another tick in the Supercoach 2024 win column.
And with that said, excuse me for a second while I dash out and quickly destroy something with unbridled rage and fury.
In a short sentence short on eloquence we wuz robbed. Actually more to the point the team did okay except for one player to failed to live up to cliff hanger expectations. No names necessary but he rhymes with ‘Drake Yardstick’…
Yes indeed, one of these defenders did not defend like the others and in one fell sweep (er…game), I went from leading by 60 points…to trailing by 66. Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In team chat post round, Tyson pointed out that at half time the defender in question was actually at -1 so it’s a miracle he clawed his way back to ten. And look, part of this is my fault for not looking at his form which has dwindled over the last three rounds to an all time low. But still. Just when I thought I was in the run for another rare victory, it was snatched away by poor performance.
Down we slide to very painful 3 spots on the ladder to 8th. Sigh. Next week then?
NEXT WEEK
No stupid previous bye rounds making a hash of things and my Tigers and Demons contingent are back! But at 3 wins and 3 losses, can my losing streak finally eclipse my taste of victory? Let’s hope not!
Supercoach 2024 Round 7 – Two dollar Steaks vs Will Day will slay!
Wait, a game of AFL on a Wednesday night? That’s barely enough time to get the bitter taste of last round out of my gob! But here we are, ready to take on another team hinging around a player (seriously, did I miss a memo about naming conventions this year or what?) on Anzac Day eve.
Luckily I was forewarned about it (thanks Boss!) and a quick glance at the AFL team sheets shows me that the Demon and Tiger (Lever and Rioli) that I shoehorned back into the steaks after their sleep in last round are actually playing.
Unfortunately being the only game on a Wednesday, the Tigers and Demons are the only team who have submitted the sheets so far. So I’ll have to come back tomorrow and see if the rest of this current formation will need some daring surgery so we’re playing with a full deck.
Interesting to note: With the players I’ve picked, I’ll have my final score by 7:40pm Saturday. Which means if Leigh’s ahead of me by then, then there’s no crawling back from that…
Suddenly it’s Sunday arvo and while the $2 Steaks have put in a pretty solid effort, now I’m waiting to see the remaining players on Leighs team (including his captain..) cough and fail spectacularly.
The predictor of course is definitely not on my side with this one..
Annnnnd did that not go well.
Now it wasn’t because of a lack of effort on the Steaks part. As you can see there were some great drives from The Bont, Cameron, Lever, Farell, Penders and Langford. It’s just that their best, kind of fell short of Will Day’s best.
How short? Well..
Now we’re three losses in a row and I can’t really find anyone instrumental in bringing the squad down, it’s just the whole team has to lift a little more. Find that extra gear. Grasp their intestinal fortitude. Chase greatness. Rise to the top. Stand up proud. Do it for the gipper-
Seriously, am I going to have to bring in a efficiency expert here?
NEXT WEEK
The team has a morale problem, the coach wants to be anywhere else but here and De Goey might be suffering from a groin injury. We can only go upwards from here can’t we? CAN’T WE?
Supercoach 2024 Round 8 – Two dollar Steaks vs CADDY SHACK
We need a win, we need a win, we need a win. That’s this week’s mantra as it’s dawned on me that if I don’t get a win for the rest of the season, I’ll be tied with my pitiful success rate of last year….which was also 3 wins. But hey, it’s round 8, plenty of rounds left in the tank of Supercoach 2024 and surely my struggling team in 8th place on the ladder can bring the Tim’s 6th place group (4 wins, 3 losses) to heel?
What won’t help here is that I’ve just learnt that Soldo is out with a knee injury which will sideline him for a month. How I missed that last week is anyone’s guess but I’m going to be down on Ruc points this round unless Goldstein really fires up.
I’m still waiting to hear about De Goey’s groin. No wait..
THURSDAY
I remember halfway through an episode of After The Party on ABC iView (awesome drama by the way) that there’s a game on later in the night and I should probably check the submission and injury lists. It’s an Adelaide VS Port Adelaide game and I check to make sure that Soligo is playing (he is) and go back to the telly.
It’s not until the next morning when I look at how things are going that I remember I do actually have a Port Adelaide player and that Farrell might be a bit miffed I forget he was even on the team.
Sorry Kane.
FRIDAY
I wake up the news that Soligo was on fire last night. No, not actually burning, more a performance for the ages, a display to be reckoned with, a lesson to everyone in attendance. No seriously, his best effort all year with 145 POINTS! Good gods Jake, given the history of the $2 Steaks that really does have the potential to be the highest player score for the team all round (if Bont falls flat of course.) Congrats on your best effort in Supercoach 2024!
But that now I’ve kicked off with a rock solid start, it’ll all come sliding downhill from here won’t it? That’s my gut feeling. And so in the group chat I ask if we can end the round early after the first game, netting me a win with my fantastic lead…
…until seconds later I look at the results of the first round and realize that if it ends now, Tim wins by a stonking great 314 points. Yes I had a great start, his decent haul of Port Adelaide players helped him have a much better one obviously. Back to the rest of this round then!
SATURDAY
Finally, after 8 long rounds in Supercoach 2024, I finally manage to load up the Collingwood Equation correctly. Or more to the point the DNP (De Goey) was on the bench this time while Pendlebury and Daicos strapped on the footy boots and got down to business.
Next week when they’re all healthy again I’ll be back to my usual form of not using the high scorer, just wait.
SUNDAY
We’ve had some good scores, we’ve had some average scores (50 points Cameron? Do better.) Again I’ve found myself in the scenario where my team has finished before my opponents and they’ve set the score to beat. Now if you’ve been reading this blog and this post in particular for longer than you’d scroll through Facebook for the 89th time in a day, then you’ll know previously this hasn’t gone well. (See round 7 for details.)
But then in a first for the Steaks, my last player to strap on the armor, whip out his sword and lay waste to the horde of orcs…er I mean, go out and play as best he could, was The Bont.
Oh Captain, my Captain. With a nod to Soligo’s Friday breaking effort, the Bont went out and played like I really needed him to, like his sole mission was to rack up enough of a score to put Tim’s chance of victory right out of reach.
And even though his team in reality The Bulldogs lost on the weekend, he certainly didn’t – laying the footy smacketh down so that Tim needed a 171 point score from his very last player to win by just a single solitary point.
And you can guess how that went..
Now not only has this given me a desperately needed victory here, but it’s also managed to break the 3 victory hoodoo. Yes there was a year where I only managed to win 3 times in over 20 rounds….but this year won’t be that year! Whoooooo!
Now I’m 4 wins from 8 games and even though this weekend’s awesome victory didn’t move the needle in terms of ladder position, it has given me one hell of a confidence boost. It may fall over next week (hey that’s Supercoach 2024 for you) but that’s next round’s issue!
Supercoach 2024 Round 9 – Two Dollar Steaks vs Boxing is Better
Amusingly (for him more than the rest of us players) for a bloke who reckons that boxing is better than AFL, he’s certainly doing well in this game sitting high and mighty up the very tippy top of the Spotify Cup ladder at the moment. So this could be quite the challenge here – time to tap into my inner Vasiliy Lomachenko (my fav boxer in case you’re wondering) and step into this footy ring.
Team wise I haven’t made too many changes for round 9 – I haven’t heard of any of my squad being racist, homophobic or breaking a toe this week so that’s a good thing. De Goey is still out with a groin injury so he spends this round on the pine while Soldo is also out of action with a bung knee (luckily I checked that, I put him back in earlier this morning!) Everyone else is present and accounted for so if they’ve been playing okay so far, they get a run this week!
Now that we’re working with a full deck…er team…can some fancy footwork outdo the sultan of the sweet science? Let’s touch gloves and find out!
THE WEEKEND THAT WAS
There was a fair bit of Supercoach chatting buzzing away on Facebook messenger about superstar forwards or in a couple of cases, a supreme lack there of. In my house though the focus was equal parts mothers day 2024 and getting frustrated that my respiratory system was now starting to sound a little like this:
Yes now that one health problem has been solved, another has free reign to present itself and boy oh boy has my asthma decided to make a real show of things. The coughing when I should be sleeping very early in the morning was annoying enough but for the first couple of awake hours daily I’ve been sounding like a one incredibly out of tune locomotive trying desperately to wheeze itself up a very steep hill.
It’s been on for a week and a bit, it came to a head today (Monday) and I’m off to the doc’s later this morning to get some top shelf medication to calm my wheezing lung farm.
Now obviously with that on my hands (or in my chest more to the point), focus on Supercoach 2024 was limited at best. I checked how things went for Friday’s Carlton Melbourne clash (not great, Lever got 65) and that was about it.
So you can just imagine early this morning on next to no sleep, having no indication how the rest of my team went over the round, the trepidation of opening up the website and bracing for the worst. And then blinking a few times hoping I wasn’t hallucinating when I saw this:
Yes while their coach was off coughing up a lung, the team decided to give me at least one thing to look forward too on a Monday morning. And while Captain Bont certainly put his best foot forward with a highly respectable 135 x 2, it was Pendlebury who put in the performance of the $2 Steaks with a season high of 147! I don’t know what was in his Gatorade, I’m just glad he was thirsty.
Obviously inspired by Pender’s brilliance, Langford also had a season best with 119. Treacy on the other hand must have been blinded by the MVP’s sheer brilliance and fell asleep at the wheel with just 32 points. Not great but the points still counted and they’re better than nothing, so…
I’m now 5 wins in the season WHICH IS COMPLETELY UNHEARD OF WHEN I PLAY THIS GAME. No seriously, that feat is up there with back to back wins which rarely happen, but here we are – I’ve now handed Brad his second loss for this season. Something is obviously going on, there must be something in the water, the druids must be in alignment…oh wait.
I might be wheezing in real life, but boy am I racing on Supercoach.
NEXT WEEK
We’ve toppled number 1 (and doing this has created a new number 1 with Brad dropping down a peg or two) but can the destroyation continue with number 2? Let’s find out..
Supercoach 2024 Round 10 – Two Dollar Steaks vs Bacca’s Bandits
‘Call me Little Spike Dudley, aka the giant slayer’ I thought after toppling the top of the ladder last week and facing the coach in second place this week. Yes I’m referencing the old ECW days of the 90’s before Vinny Mac got his filthy hands on it and made it a shadow of what it once was.
The trouble is my hopes got well ahead of my planning (note: there really wasn’t any planning) and early into this round 10 action I found myself well behind the 8 ball and thinking ‘the giant’ killer was about to be launched into the crowd instead, with someone like the late great Bam Bam Bigelow doing the launching..
Because when Geelong lined up against Gold Coast on Friday night, the Gold Coast Suns had one of their best games ever (creating their highest score in any game they’ve been a part of) and my three Geelong players did not. Mainly because only two of them played, me not looking at the injury list to notice that Cameron was out with a concussion. The two that played? They didn’t do well either.
You know who isn’t out though? That would be De Goey who nobody thought would be picked this round (including me) and so he’s on the bench. I only found this on the way home from Melbourne listening to the game and wondering why again I didn’t look at the team selections.
Actually I know why, I was watching Clarkson’s Farm season 3. It’s quite the distraction..
So I’ve got an injured player on the field and a recovered one on the bench, plus a very lacklustre start with those who have laced the boots up already. The predictor thinks the Bandits will romp it in….to the tune of 300+ points. Miracle time? We can only hope from here..
THE REST OF THE WEEKEND WHERE NO MIRACLE SUDDENLY APPEARED
Sigh, welcome to mission impossible. Especially when the team suddenly crumpled and fell to pieces like one of those paper bags from Aldi. We started off bad in Round 10 and continued that downhill slide from there. However before I blast some of the $2 Steaks, allow me to highlight those deserving of praise for attempting to save the day:
Pendlebury – 118
Farrell – 104
Daicos and Rioli – Equal 100
And that is all.
Over on the other side of the Supercoach 2024 coin, namely ‘What the hell went wrong here then?’ we have a season low for the Bont with just 93. Langford dropped the ball (not literally) with 39. Weddle had a laughable 24 (but thankfully was on the bench.) Guess who wasn’t on the bench and managed to burn me again? Oh yes..
Yes in a true return to Round 4 form, Lever proved that yes, he can score lower than mid 50s. Much much lower as he coughed up 6 points in this round. He dropped the ball, the Dee’s lost against the West Coast Eagles and my beloved Tigers failed to win, again. Woooo, should have stayed in bed really
But 6. That’s got to be a new record low, even for me.
And while I was shaking my head over that kick to the plums, I couldn’t help but notice that Aish has somehow moved to the back end of the field, now a defensive player instead of the mid line where I currently have him positioned.
Maybe he knew there’d be a spot free with Lever after this round?
Sigh. What a mess.
Or if you prefer, here’s my lacklustre group with some quick notes added, like I’m a commentator in the NFL only I can type my thoughts instead of scrawling with a white marker.
I’m still 7th on the ladder so that’s a small consolation but I’ve learnt my lesson. Well two of them – 1) Stop thinking one big scalp makes me a giant killer and 2) Once bitten, twice shy. Thanks Lever!
Next week: Brandon’s One Man Brand team have managed a paltry 2 wins all Supercoach 2024 season. And I’ll be pulling out all the stops to make sure he doesn’t score another one.
Supercoach 2024 Round 11 – Two Dollar Steaks vs One Man Brand
The truth is, Coach Brandy is one of the nicest most handiest blokes there is to know on this amazingly small planet and he’d be the first to put down his own tools to help you out with whatever you need, no matter how big or small the issue happens to be.
I don’t need his help here, I’d just like him to continue with the results he’s been having so far for Supercoach 2024…because that would mean I’ve have more than an average chance of picking up a win here. Heh.
THURSDAY – LAZY BOOKING
Yes, Thursday night rolled around and because I was spending time with my little bloke Jackson watching episodes of Young Sheldon, I clean forgot to check the injury or team lists. Just before I went to bed though I loaded up the Supercoach app, saw that the only player I had playing was the Bont and I went to bed a happy man, figuring if he was out, I’d know hours in advance as a big gun like that missing a game would be national news.
And play he did, with a lovely 135 x 2 (thanks Captain.) Off to a flyer!
FRIDAY AND SATURDAY
Once again I failed to look at the important details like injuries and selections, because reasons? Anywhoo is seems the footy gods were with me once again. Even though he played last week surprisingly, I still hadn’t gotten around to putting De Goey back in play this week. But that’s okay, because he didn’t play in this round, phew!
Everyone else I left on the field seems to be selected which is great although Penders had a slow game with 54 and Aish only managed 65. At the time of writing Close, Cameron, Guthrie and Idun are about to step out into the game so I can’t change their spots even if they haven’t been officially selected. However I can quickly check up on the remaining four who haven’t played yet so standby while I take a quick look at what I should actually be across as of Thursday night.
While you wait, please enjoy one of the greatest performances of all time. No it’s not the Bont’s latest highlights package, it’s this epic vid from Kid Creole and the Coconuts.
Oh how good was that?
Now where was I? After having a look Cameron is on. Close has the green light. Idun is ready to rumble. Gutherie is go. Awesome, the footy gods really have given me two thumbs up this week!
Meanwhile Rioli is approved. Soligo is picked. Goldstein is locked in and Langford got the nod. This means not only do I not need to make any changes this week, Lever who managed to avoid getting turfed this week doesn’t get swapped to fill a gap.
Okay Footy Gods, what else you got for me this round? (And the rest of Supercoach 2024?)
RESULTS
Not willing to further ruin what was already going to be a difficult time sleeping (seriously the transition from Sunday night to the 4:30am Monday alarm has always been a challenge) I resisted the temptation of jumping into the Supercoach 2024 app to see if I’d won or possible bitten into the biscuit of narrow defeat.
Because when I’d left things, Brandy had three players left to run and in similar conditions to a few rounds earlier, I was down to just one. It was up to Soligo to dive deep into his big bag of intestinal fortitude and bring forth some absolute magic like we know he’s capable of.
But could he out play three other scores and keep me ahead in a game where the predictor had pointed out ‘Hey, you’re going down in this round playa!’
Course he could!
Yes I woke up bleary eyed and cussing the alarm (as usual) on Monday and when I stumbled into work, one of the first things I did (after brewing up a coffee of course) was load up the Supercoach app to find out Soligo had only scored 71…but still we’d managed to win by 8 measly points!
8 points!!!
And while I’m stoked by the narrowest of narrow victories, especially when the $2 Steaks could have done so much better, I could only imagine how Brandy felt – possibly waiting til Monday morning to find out if he finally jagged a much needed win, however..
Now I’m in 6th place and grinning like an idiot because I’ve just had a look at who’s next and wouldn’t you know it..
NEXT WEEK
We’ve come full circle as we’re facing off against our round 1 opponent in Team Dunno once again who has made themselves very comfortable at the very bottom of the ladder.
Also De Goey’s out for a month so remind me not to use him.
But I think I might be a shoe in for another victory here…just saying..woo! Supercoach 2024 Season cracking along so much better than I thought!
Supercoach 2024 Round 12 – Two Dollar Steaks vs Dunno
Ahh it’s round one all over again (we had to run out of fresh opponents for Supercoach 2024 sooner or later), back facing Coach Matt and his still ‘Dunno’ named team for another throw down. And although I wasn’t aware it was the time of the bye round once more, I’m not to worried. Because even though the following teams aren’t playing this round:
BRISBANE
SYDNEY
NORTH MELBOURNE
GREATER WESTERN SYDNEY
..a quick check on the $2 Steaks line up reminded me that I only have one player from any of those teams, so Idun from GWS gets a rest this round with Broad filling the gap. Of course things might be subject to change due to injury and selection (remind me to check!) but for now this bye round doesn’t seem to be too much of a concern.
The next couple of weeks however might be a different story..
THE RESULTS
Oh boy, did I deserve to lose this one…
I walked into the club rooms, took a look at who I was facing, figured I had it all in the bag and waltzed out again to the car park with a quick ‘Yeah, you boys have got this see you on Monday’, missing completely the long line of suddenly injured players waiting to be seen by the team nurse.
Yes faster than you can say ‘Who gave the work experience kid the keys to my corvette?’ things fell right to pieces.
Talk about a breaking point.
-The better of my two Rucks Soldo is back! But of course I missed that Supercoach 2024 memo didn’t I? I left him in on the bench and meanwhile on the field my other Ruck Goldstein got injured. So no ruck playing this round.
–De Goey still out but I was prepared for that. What I wasn’t prepared for was learning last minute that Pendlebury was also out with a bicep injury. Gah! Anyone but Penders!!!
–Langford had a 19 which is far from his average of 79.3. On the brighter side though he did play so that’s a thing.
-Meanwhile The Bont decided to carry the entire team on his back with a record stonking 186!! Yes his highest all year…but not enough to remove this bitter taste in my mouth when I finally loaded up the app to view the damage done and how well we actually went with no ruck and the 2nd best MVP with a sore arm..
Like life, you really can’t leave anything to chance. So I’ve put a reminder into my calendar ‘Check the injury lists you idiot!!’
I’m still 6th on the ladder though, I am okay with that..
NEXT WEEK
Tyson comes back around for another…er…round. And this time I’ll make sure the team nurse has plenty of band aids and panadols on hand to try and patch the team up once again..
Supercoach 2024 Round 13 – Two Dollar Steaks vs Tranquillo Tyrants
It’s 5th vs 6th (me) in a bye round plagued with injuries. I can’t see this round going well at all, can you?
A quick consult with the team doctor didn’t make me any happier this round either
Pendlebury – out another couple of weeks with his bicep injury
De Goey – Came back for the length of a cup of coffee, now has an abdomen injury that will keep him out for another couple of weeks.
Lever – Knee injury, check back in a couple of weeks.
Goldstein – Bowed out with an ankle injury but fingers crossed, might be back this week if testing goes okay. And boy do I need him to because the returning Soldo is off thanks to the bye round.
Also out this week thanks to that damn bye: Treacy, Aish, Farrell.
Which means I have 2 confirmed, possible 3 spots to fill on the field….and no one available to fill them. Holy hell! Time to run wild through the free agency list again!
TRADE TIME!
Lever has been let loose, replaced by Oliver Dempsey from Geelong.
Farell also got his marching orders, replaced by Ben Ainsworth from Gold Coast.
Now if Goldstein comes good and Idun shows up, we may have a full team!*
*Results may vary
THE WEEKEND THAT WAS
Well I remembered to check the injury lists and the team selection lists and wouldn’t you know it? I actually had a full team to work with in this round, a full deck of cards to play with if you will (not counting those on the sidelines obviously.) And after making sure I was playing with a full deck, I went off to go bowling.
Actually truth be told I got invited to go bowling with the in laws, the outlaws and everyone in between. And in my usual way of bowling after a while between hurling heavy balls down the lane (wait..) it took me a whole first game and a second place out of five players before I warmed up enough to put on a clinic (well for me) including a spare and three strikes to really cement first place.
What a shame then that ‘first one’s a warm up’ doesn’t count for Supercoach 2024 because I was leading right at the end…and then I wasn’t.
Naturally the Bont was like me in the second game of ten pin bowling – well warmed up and ready to run a steamroller over everyone else. Goldstein also stepped up to the plate with a very respectable 108 points. Everyone else though? Meh.
Pendlebury out cost me big time. And this was also one of those rare rounds where I couldn’t blame leaving anyone good on the bench because they were either injured or on holiday. Deary me.
I was hoping Tyson’s last two players being Daicos (the Daicos I didn’t pick) and Salem would fall short or just get a case of the CBF’s and phone things in. But then my incredible case of wishful thinking has never panned out in any of these down to the wire outcomes.
His Daicos nailed 128 while Salem sealed the deal at 111. With that kind of last minute performance, it’s no wonder I languished behind.
Sigh. There’s always next week.
Quickly looks at next week and sees that three quarters of my front line, half my mid line and a quarter of my defensive lineup are all out of action due to the next bye round. Yes just when I thought it was safe to venture out on the grounds again with a full team.
Remind me why I’m doing this again?
Supercoach 2024 Round 14 – Two Dollar Steaks vs Mad Dawgz
The last time the Steaks met the Dawgz, we were narrowly defeated.
This time however…I expect to be fully crushed.
Three teams are having a bye round which caused me much grief, wailing and gnashing of teeth, Pendlebury is still out nursing his bicep, De Goey hasn’t returned to play and while the Bont is lacing up the footy boots this round (which the Western Bulldogs will need) he’s still a bit ill and probably not at his best.
Couple that with the haphazard way I’ve gone of replacing players enjoying a sleep in this round and my footy formula one machine is really starting to look like it should be taking pride of place in the S–tbox rally instead.
Still, on a brighter note here thanks to my player Jenga/Tetris efforts, I now am at least sporting a full squad. Even if it means I had to eject players I brought in last round to find other players available to play this round.
We welcome Bramble, Hill, Dow and McLean to the squad in place of…er…I can’t remember. But I’m sure they were great and we of course wish them nothing but the best for their future endeavours.
While we’re at it we also hope no one injures themselves this round otherwise Supercoach 2024 is suddenly going to turn bleaker than first thought.
Anywhoo, on with Round 14!
HOW WE WENT
Good news! Everyone turned up and had a go!
Bad news! It wasn’t enough to win!
Fresh new recruit Hill had a blinder with 105 points but Bramble unleashed his inner Bontempelli, nailing a very handy 133. Not to be outdone, The Bont himself put through a sterling effort of 162, lovely. Farrell came home with 113 while Soligo managed 93.
And if you love your stats, you’ll love this: 50% of the $2 Steaks managed to beat their average in round 14.
Unfortunately that also means the other 50% did not and in a couple of cases didn’t come close.
Yes I’m looking at you McLean.
All in all a good effort, just one not good enough to take the chocolates – we lost by 74.
There’s always next week though…provided I have a team left to play..
Supercoach 2024 Round 15 – Two dollar Steaks vs Dawson be thy name.
We’re back facing nice guy Andrew once again and my team is in worse shape than the last time we clashed. Actually scratch that, my team can barely form any semblance of a shape at the moment given half of them have now gone missing!
It truly is a case of bye round blue dot fever as my team now has more gaps in it than car bodged together in a back alley in Botswana. Holy hell, this is painful to look at.
What doesn’t help me here in the slightest is the performance of my new recruits in Hill and Bramble just about stealing the show last week, making it very hard for me to decide if I want to eject them or not. They could be brilliant again, they could burn me badly, such is the way of Supercoach 2024.
Dow on the other hand…sorry mate.
So on this Tuesday arvo (first game isn’t until Friday) I’ve submitted a couple of trades on the waiver wire to hopefully swap for available players. Watch this space!
THE WEEKEND THAT WAS
So I submitted the waiver wire as stated and Eric Hipwood from the Brisbane Lions answered the call to take the place of the ‘Here for a sip of water’ Dow.
And that’s when I sat back and went ‘Welp, this is all too hard.’
Honestly I didn’t really want to remove a good 4/5ths of my team to swap for whoever was left on the free agency list and still active and ready to play, just for the sake of one round. So I didn’t.
It was a sea of DID NOT PLAYS and I’m okay with that.
Now to their credit, both Hipwood and Cameron were really impressive.
But not impressive enough to carry the entire team over the line, with the solid trouncing that followed:
Of course what I conveniently forgot was that when you take a loss, you may drop a position or two in the rankings.
In this case I managed to drop from 6th right down to 12th…ouch…
Boy oh boy did that lazy plan backfire!
But there’s always next week to claw my way back…I hope!
Supercoach 2024 Round 16 – Two dollar Steaks vs CRIPPTIC KROSSWURD.
Yes there’s nothing like a mid year break, especially when you don’t have to face the day with bleary eyes and barely an idea circa 4:30am when the alarm screams it’s digital lungs out.
And I got so excited by the fact that I could sleep for just that bit longer (before the cat rudely interrupted my dreams of world domination again) that I clean forgot to check anything. That includes who’s in, who’s out and who’s managed to pick themselves off the medical stretcher and made it back to the locker room without injuring themselves down that short hallway.
It also means that last weeks team now becomes this week’s team because: I’m terrible at remembering to have a crack at this coaching stuff.
So Pendlebury and De Goey, who both should be back in play this week? They found themselves riding the pine once more even though they both seem fit and able. Likewise Bramble who came along as a fill in during the agonising awfulness that was the Bye Rounds got another run at things because I forgot to take him off.
Good god am I a terrible coach. I mean how do I expect to win here whe-
What in the fat flashy fishes of Fenurgen went on here then???
I mean I fielded a team with no Ruc (What happened so Soldo? No idea!). Short of Bont, Daicos and Farrell, nobody scored over 100 for the game. Rioli had a cracker…on the bench. All in all here in Supercoach 2024, that should all add up to a truly awful effort and the team should have gone down in flames for it.
But we won? Look at how happy Soligo is with that news!
Yes the footy gods have stopped laying the boot in this round, somehow allowing my scraps of a team to crawl over the finish line first. I’d look further into it but in a nutshell I beleive the math was pretty simple on this one:
My team bad, Craig team worse.
Damn, imagine the damage I could have caused if I’d actually did something this week (like pick a team!)
Oh well, there’s always next week!
Supercoach 2024 Round 17 – Two dollar Steaks vs Corn on the Lobb
The last time we met Hardwick tripped over a rogue bit of grass and victory suddenly decided to cuddle someone else. This time however I have actually looked at my team this week and all going well, none of them are suddenly going to catch on fire.
I hope.
My Collingwood guns are back, Soldo is back on the bench, I have a Ruc now and have fined up the back line. The forwards are average at best so there might be some more fine tuning needed there but for the most part? I have a team.
Will it be a winning team though? I decided to run it past another coach just to pick their thoughts. Unfortunately no one in the AFL returned my call, but former NBA Detroit Pistons coach Monty Williams did answer his phone and left me with this pearl of wisdom before ending the call abruptly:
‘Sign a five year deal. The way you’re going, you’re going to cash in big time at the end of this year!’
-MW
Er thanks Mont! I think..
GAME TIME!
Like a blind canteen lady, it was a bit of a mixed bag lunch order this one. I put my Collingwood squad in and while Pendlebury decided to make up for lost time with a blinding 132 points, Daicos and De Goey wandered off for a snag roll and some powerade at half time, bringing in 50 and 66 respectively.
Still that’s better than either ruck in The $2 Steaks as neither Soldo or Goldstein were fit to play.
Bont = Average. 106. I suppose everyone can have a bad day on occasion and boy do I know that well playing Supercoach 2024..
And luckily aside from new recruit Bramble scoring 77 from the bench, everyone else on it did very little or scored nothing at all so I definitely got the team submission sorted this week. Because even without an Ruck involvement…
This sudden hot streak has pushed me into sixth place on the ladder and things are looking up for the Steaks (finally). So much so that I feel newly appointment Coach Jason Ryles would be very pleased with this: a) If he knew who I was and b) If he was involved in AFL and not the NRL.
But aside from that..
Time to brace myself for next round though because it’s 6th versus 1st and Leigh doesn’t look like he’s taking any prisoners..
Supercoach 2024 Round 18 – Two dollar Steaks vs Will Day will slay
Wowee, talk about crawling in the ring with Brock Lesnar Bron Breaker. Leigh’s team has been in phenomenal form this year with only a couple of losses where I keep fronting up with no Ruck’s and a team carrying more injuries than the ECW locker room back in the 90s.
Soldo still has a sore knee, god only know where Goldstein went and Collingwood is carrying more walking wounded than any other team at the moment it seems. And so I resigned myself that with zero trades and just about the same level of prep this week, things weren’t going to go well for the Steaks.
Turns out I was right on the money!
Yes I could square the blame solely on the lack of anyone or anything in the Ruc position but if I was creating a blog post called best SuperCoach strategies for beginners then I would point out the coaches favourite ‘THERE’S NO I IN TEAM!’
That and even if I had either Goldstein or Soldo still in action, there’s more than fair chance they wouldn’t magically conjure up the 136 points needed to topple the Will Days.
No its a team effort with the ship going down, solidified by Pendlebury having a bad day.
But I can’t be an angry coach about it all week, can I?
After all, there’s always next week…
Supercoach 2024 Round 19 – Two Dollar Steaks vs Caddy Shack
Look I’d like to tell you an amazing tale about this round. How I invited Chris and Brad Scott, Adam Yze, Danielle Laidly, Gregg Popovitch and Andy Reid around for beers, a BBQ and a huge planning session to talk tactics. I’d like to admit I sent a bicep expert around to Penders place to check on his weapons. I’d like to, but I can’t because I literally phone this round in.
And by phoning it in, I actually mean I completely forgot to show up. Which isn’t anything new for how I play Supercoach 2024 (or any year actually) it was just another week where life got so far in front of me, looking at the ins and outs of round 19 was somewhere right down the bottom.
But the beautiful thing? The team from round 18 didn’t bother waiting for their coach, they just accepted it as a thing (it doesn’t surprise them anymore), nodded to each other, laced up the boots and got down to business.
And even better, they won!
I could only imagine what might have happened had I turned up, looked at the stats, looked at the injuries, looked at the team selections and then moved things around like a deranged surgeon; it could have been a completely different result.
But whether I’m there in the coaches box, beanie on and yelling commands with a beer in one hand and a hot dog in the other or at home completely forgetting (again) that the world of AFL rolls right on beside me whether I realise it or not – a win is a win and god was it a needed one. I’m in 6th place and seriously happy to be there.
Especially when we were one game into round 20 and somebody realised the seriousness of it…
Supercoach 2024 Round 20 – Two Dollar Steaks vs Boxing is Better – Do or die round!
It’s been 11 rounds since the lover of boxing and the Sultan of steaks last clashed and now it’s a case of Supercoach 2024 thunder-dome – two coaches enter, one coach leaves. Or makes the finals, thanks to coach Leigh’s calculations:
And so with one last step for possible finals glory, I actually made sure to sit down with the team selection lists and the injury list to make sure that the possible last time I set up was going to be able to fire on every cylinder, especially the ones they haven’t reached yet. Assisting me was both Coach Cappuccino and Coast Toasted Cheese Sourdough Sandwich and after a gruelling five minutes, we decided that the best play of action was to put Bramble back into play.
Yes one swap and that’s it.
No last minute trades, no waiver wire perusals, here’s the final team for pre finals. God speed gentlemen and let the cards, dice, coins and whatever else we’re throwing about here falls where it may!
NOT WANTING TO PRESS MY LUCK, I ONLY CHECKED IN ONCE OVER THE WEEKEND…
…and just about had a heart attack when I saw what De Goey was up to. Or more to the point, what he wasn‘t up to!
Did I miss him in team selection? Did he get injured last minute? Is this was Mason Cox now appears in the team selection list where I swear De Goey once was. It’s finals time baby, the last thing I need is a player down and everyone having to reach for 7th gear just to cover a lack of points!
However that seems to be the exact memo the rest of my mini magpie army read because they fired up all turbos, even Bobby on the side-lines!
Speaking of the side lines, they really lifted this round which is super unhelpful, creating scores that don’t actually get counted. I benched both Broad and Soligo for lacklustre recent scores recently and next minute..
As for the rest of the Steaks, I’m going to rate their performance as Above Average which is pleasing. Aside fro De Goey, there were no major disappointments which is rare – obviously they picked up the possible sniff of finals time and reacted accordingly:
Which meant when all was said and done, when the smoke cleared and the last die hard $2 Steaks fan exited Almigo stadium, the results burnt their way through a hazy sky…
HOLY HAND GRENADE, we’re in the finals baby!!!
Oh god, this is a first – don’t crumble now coach!
NEXT WEEK: It’s do or die Supercoach 2024 round 2 as we take on the Mad Dawgz to either continue our well surprised march to greatness or head to the showers with heads hung low, hanging out for Mad Monday celebrations, drowning out sorrows in vats of beer.
Supercoach Elimination finals round 1 2024 – Two Dollar Steaks vs Mad Dawgz
In the word of Warhammer 40k Orks: Ere we go, ere we go, ere we go.
It’s elimination finals time, I’ve made it in and it’s completely unfamiliar ground to me in the three years I’ve been throwing my ragtag bunch of AFL footballers…at someone else’s ragtag bunch of AFL footballers.
And so to much sure my team this week was sharper than surgical steel, I delved deep into my book of possibly shady tricks and tried stealing some other players to boost my ranks.
And it was a sound plan on paper two – there’s 6 teams in the finals, 5 teams who are not. And so I perused those who didn’t make the cut and attempted to swap out some of my lesser guns for those who did quite well across the season (not well enough to land a spot in finals but oh well…)
And of the three coaches I sent offers too, only one of them got back to me.
‘I’ll put the trade in.. but it might get block’ he mumbled before wandering off and then proceeded to do nothing but, leaving me and my team of misfits on our lonesome for another do or die round.
Well okay then.
I looked at the team, checked the selection list, made a couple of changes and hoped beyond hope it was enough to put Maddy’s Mad Dawgz to the test. Then I sat back over the weekend and watched the wheels come completely off.
But not for me for a change..
Supercoach Chat on Facebook Messenger was a busy process over the weekend as Maddy slowly watched various aspects of her team come apart. How refreshing to see Supercoach chaos knock on the door of someone else this week!
‘Fml injury from may in finals is not good’
‘I’m —ked why has Bont decided to play well this week’
‘Wtf Sydney’
‘Yeah I’m little filthy about how this week has turned out’
‘I blame Sydney wtf’
‘This is possibly the worst week I’ve had all year, Murphys law really’
But it wasn’t all plain sailing in fair weather for me either, having completely missed the fact that suddenly I was one man short. Hipwood was a late out due to a groin injury and I only discovered this far too late in the piece.
However that was the only random lightning bolt in the whole mess and that meant after the smoke cleared it was more than just a convincing win:
And that means the unsuspecting underdog not only makes the eliminations, but managed to survive the first round!
NEXT WEEK: We take on the very strong Bacca’s Bandits – but can stormy chaos clouds strike twice and wreck shop on the opposition? We can only hope! Stay tuned!
Supercoach Elimination finals round 2 2024 – Two Dollar Steaks vs Bacca’s Bandits
De Goey is out. Hipwood is out. And unless The Bont somehow creates his greatest score ever this round, I feel I’m out too. Because Trent’s team is a juggernaut. And I don’t just mean a garden type variety Cain Marko Juggernaut, I mean the possessed by a hammer juggernaut and insanely hard to stop.
Still, I wouldn’t have gotten this far without fate occasionally farting badly in my opponents direction, so let’s do this. For potentially one last time this season, I’ve fronted up to the locker room and grunted some things that seem like a half hatched plan:
I heard De Goey was out on the radio. Luckily he was already on the sidelines from last week as the game started, phew! (In my defence I was watching the latest season of Umbrella Academy..)
Hipwood is still out this week and luckily I picked that up before his game started. As a surprise, I swapped him for Bulldog Ugle-Hagen. I didn’t tell him it was going to be a good surprise..
I’ve also put in a few more West Coast players into the mix because over the last few weeks they’ve had great games over on the sidelines. Of course more than likely this means they won’t on the field now that I’ve picked them but what do I have to lose here right? In you go!
And so with that last ditch effort of fine tuning, my team strode forth and attempted to lay waste:
And there were a lot of positives to pick from this elimination finals hoedown too such as Rioli really putting the hammer down. Everyone in DEF aside from Broad having a good time.
The Bont being reliable, again.
Actually that’s about it really. For some reason I thought there’d be a handful more good points in possibly my last Supercoach 2024 outing.
The bad? Well there’s no point pointing out individual lacklustre performances when overall….we got right royally Canadian Destroyed.
Yes it wasn’t a breakdancing score of no points, but 300+ in my opponents favour certainly does smart. Especially when I had such a big head of steam courtesy of last week.
But you can’t win them all can you folks?
So it’s the end of the line, season over, off to the showers and the mad Monday frothies. But a massive thanks to the crew for the invitation to be part of one hell of a swell (and very interesting at times) footy season and I’m stoked that I crossed the finals line, even if the rotary engine powering the $2 blew an apex seal in the end. Thanks for joining me for the weekly highlights (and low lights) and of course everything in between. Remember though:
There’s always next year!
-Coach Al
Supercoach 2024 $2 Steaks.