Look, cards on the table here – I never thought in my life of lives that I’d ever be blogging about a Spice Girls reunite story of all things but it’s 2023 and here we are. And the story is the Spice Girls are indeed getting back together to part of the Kings Coronation coming up later this year.
The big question: Will Charles remember all their stage names?
The bigger question (from me): Who else can we bring back for the night?
Although to be fair..
I’ve had to scratch my head pretty deeply to recall them all too, so Chuck might not be the only one struggling for names. From memory there’s Poshy Wifey Spice (married to David Beckham), Ginger Racey Wifey Spice (married to Christian Horner from Red Bull Racing), the Scariest of the Spices, Teenage by now surely Spice and the other one – Dash Oh Spice?
(Obviously a big fan here. But that’s okay, I’m completely aware that none of them would know my name either.)
But this Spice Girls reunite update is big news for fans of the group because it’s been a solid decade since they last came together for the 2012 London Olympics. And who knows? All going well this might just be the catalyst for a Spice Girls Reunite world tour because any seasoned tour promoter worth their salt will tell you, right now there’s certainly a demand there for acts we grew up with. (Possibly not the same level of demand for another movie ala Spiceworld though..)
For me though this news has acted as a bit of a thought starter, namely thinking other UK groups that I think should reunite for the King’s coronation coming up at Windsor Castle on May 7. I mean how big a news story would the day be if there lead was ‘Today was a Spice Girls reunite but also getting back together were..’
Ha ha, what a coup this would be. Although I’m sure it’d be a logistical nightmare because I don’t think that after all this time, the brothers Gallagher are on talking terms yet. So in order to have both Noel and Liam doing their thing for the King’s day of days, you’re going to have to simulcast them both from other sides of the planet while the rest of the band plays in the background.
And even with that great a distance, they’d probably still find a way to punch each other. So on second thoughts…
Chance of this actually happening: Astronomical
Interestingly I had no idea that Black Lace were still going, albeit going through a series of chops and changes along the way. So technically this wouldn’t be as big news as a Spice Girls reunite but far funnier, especially if they managed to get King Charles up on stage to Push A Pineapple and grind some coffee. I mean who doesn’t like Agadoo?
Chance of this actually happening: Pretty good actually.
Back in the news recently for their Dark Side of the Moon album 50th celebrations and people hilariously thinking they’ve gone ‘woke’ because of a use a rainbow in some of the promotional material (if you are one of this idiot bunch, please go and look at original cover and tell me what you see emerging from the prism, I’m happy to wait) what better way to capitalise on this attention than with a big
Spice Girls reunite rebanding on Kings Day.
Chance of this actually happening: Better than first thought actually.. See you on the dark side of the moon Charlie?
Now if that group name made you go ‘Wait, who?’ then I reckon you’d be aware of their most famous former member being Norman Cook.
And if you also responded to that name with ‘Wait, who?’ Shame on you. He’s better known nowadays as Fatboy Slim. You know this guy right?
Actually on second thoughts, possibly not because it’d be a similar get together like a Take That reunite – the media would turn that story into ‘Robbie Williams and those other guys in his former group.’ Here Fatboy Norman would get all the love while the other Martins would barely get a look in.
Chance of this actually happening: Maybe Norman, possibly not the rest. Results may vary.
I know what you’re wondering here – do I know these guys? And if you ever watched more than five minutes of the brilliant series The Sopranos back in the day, then you’d remember the incredible theme tune which were these guys in action.
And surely I’m not the only one who thought ‘No no, no chance. These blokes are American as cheese in a can and sugary cereals!’ especially creating a song for one of the biggest American TV series of all time. But now, they’re British and therefore they fit the bill (kinda – they haven’t actually disbanded to be able to do a Spice Girls reunite here…but the coronation isn’t until May so there’s still time.
Chance of this actually happening: Slight.
And finally to finish this off, some groups we had to rule out for various reasons.
ACDC – Er…not British sorry, Australian (Although an argument could be made given some of the members were originally born in the UK, a similar situation for some of the members of Talking Heads too..)
The Killers – Apparently people think Mr Brightside is an English song but they’re definitely from the US.
Bee Gees – Australian
Scissor Sisters – USA not UK
Devo – Hilarious choice and also not British
Anyone else I’ve missed here? Let me know!