Feed the Machine Round 06 – Supercoach Stats Safety Check

The taste of narrow defeat from last week is still bitter. Time to consult the big book of Supercoach Stats (and team lists), throw a few more spanners at the home router and try again.

Mate, we’re out of internet

Thank the footy gods that Round 6 kicked off on a Friday instead of a Thursday because yesterday the net went down harder than the stock market any and every time I buy shares. Yes much to the chagrin of the kids, back to the dark ages of pre-internet we went which meant no surfing the Supercoach Stats or watching any kind of streaming.
Free to air TV then? It’s been a while!
Thankfully my provider of many years Mate Internet kept me updated on the situation (it was pretty bad all over the country it seems) but this morning they exorcised the demons and things are working at 110 percent again.

Thanks Mate, now I guess it’s my time to do the same!

With the book of Supercoach Stats, I banish thee..

Okay, the word banish might be a little harsh because they’re not demons or heretics I’ve signed up here. So let’s just call it ‘we wish them well in their future endeavours.’ Yes for the sake of the team and the love of potentially winning, getting future endeavoured this week:

Got injured, didn’t move him in time, lost the round by 30 points and would have won had I kept my eye on the prize. It’s a tale as old as time really. Given that he’s only picked to play some of the time and currently injured, I feel it’s a rock solid idea to let him go.

According to current Supercoach Stats, he has one of the lowest averages in team Feed The Machine (well down the bottom with both Harmes and Himmelberg) and I really can’t see it getting any better, sorry J but I think it’s time we parted ways. It’s not you, it’s your Supercoach stats..

Still injured, still no word on when or if he’s coming back. Sorry Harmes but I need the space on the bench, so…


Josh Battle DEF (Represented by Ragdoll from the DC universe)- Phenomenal name and the first or two new defenders, Josh hails from St Kilda, seems pretty consistent and has played all rounds until now injury free.

Jamaine Jones DEF (Represented by Clay Face)- Yes it’s a case of Jermaine Jones taking over from Jiath as we welcome the 2nd new player starting with J to the fold. Yes it’s purely coincidental but Double J comes with a 75+ avg and scored 101 last week so that’s good enough reason to give him a run here. Look at me, I sound like I’m writing about horse racing here..

Jarrod Berry MID (Represented by Professor Pyg?)- Okay this J thing is obviously spiralling out of control but with the team needing a Harmes replacement, JB here was the best fit. With his AVG just slightly under everyone elses on the mid line, he’s on the bench for now but at least I have a working backup if I need one..


Didn’t play last week and just for something different, not playing this week. Come back Hurninator, my team and your actual real life team need you!

Oh thank god, Gawn is back. Cleared from injury and undoubtedly champing at the bit to get back into the swing of things and tear stuff up like only he can. Here’s hoping he returns to be ever better than when he left off. Thanks to Coach Tyson for sharing the whisper that he’d be returning this week and a shout out for McInerney for keeping his Ruc spot warm. Welcome back Gawn!

As for the rest of the team, I know they’re all set to play save for Penders and Durham who might be part of the lineup for the Anzac Day clash on Tuesday (team sheets aren’t out for that game yet.) I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest Penders will be a definite in that one. So after some sore eyes from perusing all these Supercoach stats, the lineup now looks like:

Supercoach stats

Will it be enough to upset 4th place Cripto Currency? Stay tuned! Updates after the round is run and won!

Pre-Monday night check in

Now here’s where it gets interesting. There are just two games left in this round and I have four players left to run where Craig only has two:

I’m expecting (hoping) big things for the returning Gawn and counting on a big haul (doubled) by Penders. And if Vlastuin continues his recent form, this could be a great round for sure.

Also props to Byrne-Jones and J Jones in the back line, they’ve certainly showed the front how to go about business. Also a shout out if you’re here after googling ‘Heeney Supercoach’ because apparently this page is trending for that, go us!

Two games to go – let’s do this!


Gah. Things could best be described by this photo…

…where unfortunately that’s me flat on the mat and still in the ring when it’s all over. Yes indeed another one of those ‘so close this won’t be doing anyone’s blood pressures any favours’, similar to last round.

In the last game of the round Penders put up a show.
Durham however did not.

And while there is no ‘I’ in team (supposedly), I’m not sure if the blame this round entirely belongs on Durham’s shoulders or on Ward in the midline, scoring even lower with 27. Perhaps it’s partly my fault for leaving Supercoach Himmelberg on the bench again where strangely he scored a stonking 100 points.
Either way, things have added up to yet another agonisingly close loss.

Just 25 points away from victory..

Thankfully still in 9th spot I haven’t slipped any further down the ladder but with every loss, it’s a harder climb to get back up there. There’s always next week…wish me luck!

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