Dear diary – did I fall asleep again?

Dear diary, hi it’s me again. Things are going well except for the strange notion where I’m feeling like I’ve slept through a few changes around me and I’ve only just noticed them now, long after everyone else..

Dear diary – when the cost of newspapers go so high?

Diary, I know I’m showing my age here (because when this happened I was 17/18 years old which makes that 25 years back and counting..) but when exactly did the price of a newspaper skyrocket and subsequently shrink in size at the same time? I swear in my first ever job at a newsagent they were $1 and $1.20 on weekends..

I’ll admit, it’s been a long time since I bought a newspaper for anything (probably more out of boredom than anything else) but I can’t remember and occasion where I’ve thought:

‘Gee, this has hit the pricey side hasn’t it?’

-Me buying a newspaper, more than likely the Herald Sun

Well up until now it seems. Because on the Monday just gone and halfway through walking the dog to pick up the kids, my wife text me and tasked me with grabbing a bottle of coke and the Herald Sun. The coke was the easy part, the paper the least amusing. Because they were out of Herald Sun’s inside the supermarket which meant I had to buy from from the smokes desk – where an old guy couldn’t work out which brand of tobacco and other nasties he wanted to buy.

‘What’s your go too when it comes to smokes mate?’ He turned and asked.
‘I don’t. I’m just here to buy the paper..’

It took another five agonising minutes before he finally decided what he wanted before shuffling off, leaving me to wonder if the price of the paper was actually a misprint. $3.80 please, will that be cash or card?
But close to four bucks for what? Something that was mostly ads and half the size of the Saturday edition? This paper wasn’t just thin, it looked malnourished. And yet this was Monday’s paper making me wonder if the weekend edition which might just be 10% thicker is now closer to the price of a copy of Men’s Health Magazine.
But the lack of copies inside the supermarket where they usually are suggests people are buying it (or maybe stealing it..) so maybe this is just the norm and I slept through the national paper hike?

Dear diary – I need a loan to fill the car..

Dear diary, I really should have bought shares in a petrol station.

This morning the petrol light was blaring, cutting through the dark of 5am. And as much as I wanted to ignore it and make it tomorrow’s problem, tomorrow’s a Friday, Friday’s are my busiest day of the week and let’s not make it any harder than it has to be. So I filled up today and almost winced at the price – so much so I publicly wondered if there was a national holiday on somewhere explaining why my wallet was about to get drop kicked.

Yes I’ll admit, with the condition of the Subaru at the moment I’m not filling up very often and at that price it’s not getting much more than a quarter of a tank.. But again Dear Diary, either I’ve been asleep the last few times I filled up (possible, it’s always early) or every one else in the world has been hit by petrol price shock and awe months ago and I’m just catching up now. Because even my best mate Heath suggested I must have been riding my Frankenbike everywhere recently because it’s been this high for a while.
Er…dear diary…has my brain been in low sleep mode for months now and I’ve finally just worked things out?

Dear diary, have I also won the lottery and slept through that too?

I haven’t?
Damn.
Back to work then.