This year I’m back on Instagram. And as expected, it hasn’t taken long for someone dodgy to come along and try to involve me in a romance scam..
And when that didn’t work, they showed me their ass.
Welcome back to the Gram there pal, it’s been a while..
All quiet on my Instagram front
I’ll admit it, I’m far from a Guru of the ‘Gram. Purely there to see what everyone else is doing, my interest in Instagram comes and goes like the tide and my uploads and shares are more sporadic than a lava lamp. Still, if you’re obsessed with others then please feel free to add me.
Once upon a time it was all about my fitness journey, now it seems more random pics of me looking tired and wanting to go back to bed already usually coupled with a few witty lines. Because I figure if people are stopping by for some reason to stalk me, they may as well be entertained. They’re certainly not there because I am (what the kids like to call) a thirst trap. (Scammer idiot trap more likely but we’ll get there in a sec.)
And I’m telling you this to hammer home a shocking truth – I am not male model material. Crazy but true. Far from it. Unblessed with a face or body that’s drowning in pure animal magnetism. But that’s okay, I’ve accepted it, I’m still human – I think.
Which is why I scoff when I get an inbox message from an Instagram idiot attempting to explain how influential/sexy my profile is. Or how good I would look wearing…jewellery. Which for the record I don’t wear save for a watch and a wedding ring but anyways..
Or more recently, messages from single young good looking women who have a sudden burning desire to communicate with me, a married dad in his 40’s on the other side of the planet.
(And if you’ve gone hey, they might be legit though! then please for the love of god stay away from Instagram because you’re a prime candidate for a romance scam..)
Hi I’m Kate
Kate, who shares the same name as a famous Aussie actress (perhaps to make things difficult to google for internet detectives?) dropped me a line out of the blue on New Years Eve, less than half an hour before the start of 2025. At as guess in her mid twenties and the six pictures (all uploaded on the same day mind you) showed a very attractive woman.
I actually replied back the next day because I was asleep. Yes once upon a time I’d rage right into the early hours of a brand new year but not caring anymore and about to move house, I went to bed. Anyway soon enough she got round to how she confused me for…
An Instagram based locksmith! Yes indeed, if I ever quit radio and become a locksmith, I’m going to get all my business purely through Instagram. Because who doesn’t like saucy scantily clad pictures… of locks? WTF
Kate wanted me to stay and chat though. No really, she really wanted me to hang about and talk about anything a pretty decent alarm bell that it’s romance scam time. Or a truly terrible pick up that makes zero sense. You be the judge.
And then because I didn’t reply, naturally she then sent me a picture of what was supposedly her in her undies, camera trained on her bottom. Because isn’t that what you do when someone you barely know ignores your messages? God knows I do when I don’t get a response from a job opportunity, it’s rear end time pal!
Of course the idea of this thirst trap/romance scam is for a hot blooded male to take one look at that amazing rear end and immediately respond back, hoping to become best friends with it.
Me? I reverse image searched the pic she sent and found out it belongs to ‘public figure’ Ashley Tervorts.
Nice try Kate. Blocked and moved on. Better luck next time!
Signs of an Instagram romance scam
-You mean apart from the obvious? A hot young girl suddenly wants to do nothing but chat to you on Instragram even though you’re married with kids and balding in your 40s? What could go wrong there?
-The account is recent and/or the pictures uploaded are all on the same day
-The romance scam follow list includes a lot of people you know. Amazing how Kate mistook me for someone else…and yet seems to follow a few of my radio colleagues. Did she think they were locksmiths too?
-They’ll escalate the messages until you respond.
-They’ll chat with you for days, months, possibly even years and then suddenly hit you with an emergency situation where they need money. And if you’re in this deep so far in the romance scam, it’ll take a lot of convincing for you to realise you’re being played..
Remember, if it’s too good to be true, then it probably is. If it’s a hot babe who is suddenly madly interested in you even though you’ve never met in real life, it’s a romance scam. Tread Instagram with caution!